


And I'm pretending you ain't been on my mind

by gaynebula



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Trans Character, Davenzi, M/M, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-29 23:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20804399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaynebula/pseuds/gaynebula
Summary: David gets asked by Hanna, his coworker, to do her a small favour and meet her friend for a sort-of-date. He would've said no if it weren't for the fact that he's been on his own for longer than he cares to admit.Matteo has been single for seemingly forever, aimlessly going throuh life without really hoping for anything, when Hanna (and partly Jonas) decides to intervene.Or: David and Matteo meet at a party and end up playing Mario Kart together. Feelings ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic, I just really love David & Matteo and so I wanted to try this out.  
The perspective changes between Matteo's and David's point of view. 
> 
> Title from "Crush" by Tessa Violet.

Matteo did want to go out tonight, he really did. He hadn’t seen Jonas in a while and hanging out with him and Hanna at their flat always made him feel comfortable, almost as if their place was his second home. They never asked him about the wrong things, and they always offered food knowing he sometimes went too long without it. It was just hard, sometimes, forcing himself to do things even though he wanted to. His mind stopped at that thought for a minute, thinking of just how often Matteo struggled with the seemingly most simple things, and it made him press his eyes together a bit too harsh just to focus on something else. It was true, though, he knew this – he constantly seemed to struggle, and he wondered if the constant feeling of failure would ever leave him be. Like now, when he was standing in front of the full-length mirror in the hallway next to Hans’ room, trying to force himself to just put on his jacket and head out. He was already late, although he knew Jonas and Hanna didn’t mind, and he wanted to at least try to not be even more late. He probably looked alright, at least he’d tried to; his jeans were one of his least baggy pair, mostly because the more comfortable ones weren’t clean, and one of his less outworn t-shirts. That was another thing he was meaning to do – sorting through his clothes and sort out anything with too noticeable stains or clothes with holes that weren’t supposed to be there.

Eventually, he reached for his keys, grabbed his jacket and walked down the flight of stairs and headed for his friends’ place a couple of blocks away.

  
.....

  
David had never been to Hanna’s flat before, which wasn’t that weird considering they were co-workers, but he already felt good sitting at the end of the couch in the small but cosy living room. He hadn’t known her for that long, not really, but she was without a doubt the one person from work he felt most himself with. Sure, they weren’t best friends or anything, but something about her made him feel okay, even on days when every other part of their work stressed him out.  
He’d only met Jonas a handful of times, when he’d come by to pick her up after her shift every now and then, but he seemed nice enough. And now, after having a drink each and just hanging out, David felt like they had more than a few interests in common. If he was being honest, he did have a good time so far, alternating between talking to Jonas and listening to Amira and Mohammed, friends of Hanna’s, talking about a trip they were planning. If it weren’t for the fact that there was another reason that Hanna had invited him here, he might have just felt relaxed, focusing completely on making new friends as the night went on.

But.

There very much was a reason, a _boy_ reason, and David weren’t sure why he’d agreed to be paired off with some guy he’d never met. Maybe it was the fact that Hanna asked him, and he’d never turn her down, considering she always offered to help him one way or another at work. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that Hanna talked about _this boy_ like he was such a precious thing, making David feel mean to turn him down instantly. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that David was very much single and hadn’t been anywhere close to changing that recently. He’d rather not think about the latter fact, though.

  
.....

He didn’t know why he was nervous, but Matteo still fumbled for his lighter and stopped to smoke before reaching the door to the flat. He knew he could just wait until he got inside and then go to the balcony or something, but he needed this before going inside. He wasn’t sure who’d be there, just remembered the word “lowkey” and something about Amira maybe being there, and it didn’t really matter that much – he really tried to focus on the catching-up-with-Jonas part more than anything else. And he did miss Hanna, missed the softness to her that was mixed with her teasing side that made him feel like he could tease her as well and just be a bit goofy for once, and leave the mess that took up residence in his mind most of his waking hours. He looked at the time on his lock screen, realising he should probably just go up there before being even _more_ late, and climbed the stairs to the apartment before heading inside.

“There he is!” Jonas’ shout greeted him from the entrance to the kitchen, where his friend was standing with a beer before bringing Matteo in for a hug. “I started thinking you wouldn’t show.” Matteo felt a bit guilty at his words but tried to shove down the feeling before it could reach the surface, knowing it would get a hold of what little energy he had if it did. 

“Yeah, well” he mumbled, shrugging a bit before turning his eyes to the rest of the flat. From where he stood in the hallway, he could see Hanna make her way to the living room, and he thought he heard Mohammed’s laughter echo through the apartment. The sound made him feel at ease, realising he’d missed him and Amira as well. This tend to happen every time he unwillingly isolated himself, not seeing his friend for weeks on end, to then reunite with them without anyone being weird about it or asking too many questions. The feeling of gratefulness started to spread through his chest, but before he could lose himself in it, Jonas had put an arm around his shoulders and led him into the kitchen to offer him a drink, catching him up on the jokes he’d missed out on by showing up an hour late.

  
.....

  
David really thought he wouldn’t be this nervous; although he was sort of quiet at times, he knew he was good with people, and made friends pretty easily when he wanted to. That’s why, when he heard Jonas greeting someone who had to be _the boy_ at the door, the feelings swarming through his body caught him off guard, making him take a sip of his drink and nodding at whatever Amira had just said. They were all hanging out in the living room at this point, discussing whether they should play a game, when Jonas came back from the kitchen followed by someone with blond strands of hair making their way over the forehead and almost covering parts of the face. And fuck, David thought, what a face.

“Matteo!” Hanna broke out in a smile at the sight of him, giving him a quick hug before turning around and doing a hand gesture at David, “this is my friend from work.”  
If David’s plan had just been to do Hanna a favour and meet some guy she knew, maybe casually flirt a little before calling it a night, that plan had now gone out the window. There was absolutely nothing casual about the way his body already buzzed from locking eyes with the blue ones that had now found his. David wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a face like this – no, scratch that, he _knew_ he hadn’t. The pale skin of the high cheekbones, in contrast to the somewhat pink cheeks, and then curve of slightly chapped, crimson lips-

It felt like time refused to move as he watched him, none of them saying anything. The fact that they were not alone, but instead surrounded by four other people, finally forced David to stand up and offer his hand to the other boy, not thinking about how they were still making eye contact.

“Hi, I’m David.”

  
.....

Matteo wasn’t sure what had happened; one moment, he followed Jonas out of the kitchen with a beer in his hand, starting to feel at ease, and then, before he had time to process, his eyes stopped at someone sitting next to Amira, holding a drink and smiling politely at her.

He was positive this was not actually happening – maybe his loneliness had finally gotten the best of him, and made him conjure this sight when in reality, there was just an empty space and a sofa cushion. Matteo was almost certain this must be the case, not being sure how he should feel about his worsened mental state, until he felt Hanna embracing him and then gesturing at said made-up boy, claiming him to be her co-worker. He felt even more unsure about this not being a fever-like dream when he felt the stranger’s dark eyes on him, locking them with Matteo’s. Then, suddenly, he was standing in front of him, not taking his eyes of Matteo’s face.

“Hi, I’m David.”

Oh. Oh fuck.

Matteo was sure now, surer than he’d possibly ever been, that this was the universe making a cruel joke at his expense. Because there was no way in _hell_ he would walk out of this interaction not looking flushed and stuttering. Not when that voice already sent shivers down his body, after only offering him a name. Sure, Matteo knew he was a gay mess at the best of times, but this was worse than anything he’d gone through before. He was pretty certain his best chance out of this with his dignity somewhat intact was to make a run for it, but David (Matteo pointedly did not think about how he wanted to test the name out loud) was already standing so close, expecting some sort of answer, and even Matteo knew he couldn’t just turn around and leave him at that.

“Oh, uh, Matteo.”

  
Jesus fucking Christ.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, we’re set on Mario Kart, then?”

David was pretty sure it was Mohammed who was asking, although his mind was still repeating the sound of Matteo’s stuttering voice in his head as if those were the last words he’d ever hear him say.

Matteo Matteo Matteo Matteo _Matteo._

The other boy’s cheeks had definitely been pink after their introduction, and David found it _adorable_ how this blond stranger lowered his gaze to the floor and didn’t seem able to raise it again until Jonas asked him about something David couldn’t make out.

“Yeah, not that any of you are gonna be a match though” Amira teased, looking over at her competition, knowing that both Jonas and Hanna were alright at best. Matteo usually managed to win at least a few rounds, depending on if he stayed focused or not, and Mohammed did okay, but it was safe to say that Amira was the one to watch out for.

“Alright, alright” Jonas shook his head, before pointing between David and Matteo, “You two pair up, Matteo could use the extra strength.”

Matteo mumbled something at this while glaring at his friend, but David was distracted by the energy rushing through him whilst his competitiveness took over bit by bit. He _was_ great at Mario Kart, and if he could use it to impress the quiet boy standing both too close and not close enough to him, he would. Looking around the room though, he was aware of the fact that both the other teams – Amira and Mohammed, Hanna and Jonas – were already flirtingly encouraging each other to win, whilst Matteo stood silent a few steps away from him, shifting his eyes from his drink to where Hanna was setting up the game.

David was just about to go up to him and say something, anything, when Jonas told them to take their places on the couches and David sat down at an empty seat. He then settled for just wordlessly gesturing at Matteo, who were the only one still standing next to the tv, to sit next to him.

.....

Matteo was pretty sure Jonas really meant no harm when he instructed David to be on his team, but he couldn’t help but feel like this was more than sheer convenience. His friend had to have noticed the way Matteo had to look away every time David so much as looked in his direction, and the fact that the two of them were now forced to sit close together on the smaller of the couches felt like some sort of punishment. For what, he wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t really in the mood to deep dive into the endless list of things he thought he’d done to deserve it.

Also, he was pretty sure he couldn’t focus on those thoughts anyway; not when this very attractive, very _real_ boy was sitting so close to him that Matteo could breathe in his scent and feel his own breath hitching.

And David was good, too. So far, they had taken turns for a while, and he really was the only one giving Amira any real competition.

“You’re up.”

David nudged him in the shoulder, softly, and Matteo had to force himself not to stare at him at the contact. As soon as David handed him the controller, he got painfully aware of how sweaty his hands had become while watching David play, and he tried to wipe them off on his jeans before taking the controller. His right hand quickly brushed against David’s fingers, handing him the controller, and he did everything he could not to physically flinch at the touch.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you can beat them” David offered, and Matteo realised he did a shit job hiding his nervousness around him.

He almost laughed at the thought of those feelings stemming from the fear of losing a game of Mario Kart, but David’s words were sweet, nonetheless. Then it struck him that maybe he _should_ be nervous; he had done alright so far, but he really didn’t want David to think he was bad at this. And even more so, he didn’t want David to think he wasn’t _good enough_ at this. Matteo determinedly made himself focus on the screen, where he’d just managed to get ahead of both Hanna and Mohammed, when he felt David shift next to him. All his focus turned to the feeling of their thighs clasping together through the fabric of their jeans, and he immediately felt like he was burning up.

.....

Being this close to Matteo did nothing but heighten David’s sense of competitiveness; he wanted to show him just how good he was at this, how easy it came to him. The other boy had managed to keep them in first place this far, but Hanna was slowly starting to get close and Jonas sounded way too happy about this fact for David to feel sure about him and Matteo actually winning this.

He glanced at the boy next to him, then; Matteo’s eyes were still focused on the screen, twitching just a bit when Amira made an appreciating sound at something Mohammed did, and his nose scrunched up a bit. His mouth was hanging slightly open and his lips moved ever so slightly, as if he was about to say something or silently having a conversation with himself. God, David was fucked.

So, when Matteo managed to dodge a green shell whilst still making an impressive jump, David instinctively put his hand gently on Matteo’s knee, grazing it lightly. The jeans Matteo was wearing was anything but tight fitting, and yet, David thought he could feel the warmth from his skin radiate through the thick, dark fabric. He wasn’t sure he would get enough of the feeling any time soon, and he slowly looked over at the other boy, not knowing if this was okay.

At this point, Matteo had lost their first place to Mohammed, who somehow managed to get past both him and Hanna in one swift movement and a quick turn. Matteo was still staring at the screen, possibly even more so than before, but his focus seemed off and his hands were shaking slightly around the controller. _Oh_.

David knew the last thing he should do when they were in fact in last place was to distract Matteo further – if that was what had happened, David couldn’t be sure – but something in him really wanted to try his theory out a bit more. So, when Matteo was still playing, but David was certain they would at least get in second place, he pressed himself a bit closer to the body next to him, making their upper arms meet through the thin fabric of their shirts.

And, oh - Matteo visibly flinched at this, almost driving off the road in the process.

.....

Matteo really tried to win this, he really did. Not for himself, his friends had already seen him fail so many times, but for David. And fuck, thinking about the boy sitting next to him, the same boy who’s hand suddenly appeared on Matteo’s knee; it was all it took for him to lose focus and for his hands to tremble against the controller. _Fuck. _He couldn’t look at David, and a part of him pretended it was due to him needing to focus on the screen, but at this point he very much knew that wasn’t the reason.

David was hot, was the thing. Too hot, in fact, for sitting pressed against Matteo on a small couch and seemingly wanting it that way – no, that could _not_ be what was happening. Matteo might have had a few beers at this point, and he knew he couldn’t always trust his brain, but he was smart enough to know that even _if _David was attracted to men, he wouldn’t be into someone like Matteo.

That’s why, when everyone suddenly stood up, moving away from the couches and towards the kitchen, he felt some sort of relief when David’s body moved further away from his own and they were no longer touching. He sat there for a while, not moving while David was already in conversation with Mohammed – from what Matteo could make out, they went to the same gym or something – when Jonas' eyes caught him, and he pointedly gestured to the door.

“Wanna come with?”

Matteo didn’t need any more convincing than that, just following his friend out on the small balcony across the room and shivering a bit once he stepped outside, looking out over the street below. It wasn’t that late, not really, but the sky still acted like a dark blanket laid around them, with the only light coming from the flickering streetlamps alongside the road. When Matteo looked over at his friend, Jonas was already studying him.

“Having a good time?”

Matteo wasn’t sure what to say to that, not wanting to explain how he was both tired from his everyday life but at the same time ecstatic from the touch of a much too attractive boy, a boy he up until tonight didn’t know existed.

“Sure, yeah.”

If Jonas thought that he sounded low, he at least didn’t say anything of it. Matteo could almost make out a smile growing bigger on Jonas’ lips.

“You like your teammate?”

There it was.

Jonas knew Matteo liked boys, and was one of the first people Matteo had ever come out to, but besides from Jonas sometimes whining about how Matteo seemed lonely, they rarely talked about it.

“David? Yeah, uh, he’s fine.”

Considering just how long Matteo and Jonas had been best friends, there was no way Jonas didn’t hear how desperately Matteo tried to sound casual when he was, in fact, a bigger mess than usual.

“You know, you could always-”

“Jonas.”

“_Matteo._”

They stared sternly at each other, both not wanting to be the one to break eye contact, until Jonas looked down at his joint and continued.

“Just talk to him, you’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be fine not talking as well” Matteo said, a bit quieter than he’d been moments before.

“Dude, just… talk to him. Have some fun.” At the last part, Jonas winked slightly at him.

Matteo was ready to roll his eyes further back in his head then he thought possible, but instead he just blew some smoke in Jonas’ face before heading in, suddenly needing another drink in his system.

As soon as he walked through the entrance to the kitchen, he knew he should turn right back, because standing alone with his back to the kitchen sink was David. And somehow, in the dim light of the room and the lack of other people around them, he looked even _better_ than before. Which, Matteo thought, was the most unfair thing to happen tonight. And yet, Matteo just stood there, not being able to turn away his gaze from the other boy; the boy who was now staring intently at him.

“You okay?”

Matteo nodded, barely, getting more and more aware of the dryness in his throat.

“Uh, yeah.”

At that, David offered him a smile that almost seemed shy, tilting his head a little to the side, and Matteo knew he was gone for real.


	3. Chapter 3

Falling for Matteo was an easy thing.

David knew that it had only been a couple of hours since the blond boy had walked into Hanna’s living room and locked eyes with him, but as Matteo had now just entered the kitchen, David knew that this didn’t matter at all. David wanted him, was the thing. He wanted him more than he’d thought he would, and way more than he usually allowed himself to want anything, really. Especially when it came to other people. Sure, he wasn’t as closed off now as he used to be – he had made friends with Hanna almost immediately after having started working with her – but still, there were parts of him trying to protect himself, needing to do so.

David was dragged out from the space in his mind by Matteo making a small noise, as if he knew David had gotten lost inside his own head. When David looked at him again, noticing how the kitchen light shaded different parts of his body, he almost forgot to look away.

“Uh,” Matteo mumbled, gesturing vaguely towards the sink David was leaning against, before he stepped closer and grabbed an empty cup sitting on the counter.

As he filled it with water, David realised just how close they were standing – mostly because David had barely moved more than the few inches needed for Matteo to get past him. 

“I’m sorry about the game earlier.”

Matteo’s words caught him off guard, and if it wasn’t for the way Matteo’s eyes had dropped to the floor, his body shifting a little, David would’ve laughed at that.

“I don’t care about winning, Matteo.”

At that, Matteo’s eyes darted up to David’s face, and Matteo actually _snorted_. And, wow, David had not expected the feelings that were suddenly racing through him.

“What?” David asked, eyebrows raised.

“Uh, yeah, that’s a lie” Matteo mumbled, but his face now offered a grinning smile that he somewhat seemed to hide away. David almost wanted to force him to show if off instead.

“I don’t” David argued, although he _knew _that wasn’t entirely true. He was aware that he often got competitive, but this time it was more about impressing Matteo than about winning the game for the sake of winning. He wasn’t going to confess any of that to Matteo, though.

“Whatever you say.”

Matteo obviously didn’t believe him, and the teasing sound of his voice almost made David want to continue arguing just to hear it again, but the way Matteo’s smile grew wider made David’s thought process come to a halt.

So, instead of saying anything, David boldly gazed at Matteo, taking his time to move his eyes from the blond strands of hair over the eyes, down to where Matteo’s t-shirt slightly exposed one of his collar bones, then further down, still, until he’d shamelessly checked him out.

When his eyes finally met Matteo’s again all hints of teasing were gone, and something else had made its home there; something David couldn’t even begin to decipher.

.....

David was standing way too close to him, their bodies now almost touching where they stood in the slightly cramped kitchen. Matteo knew he shouldn’t be doing this; not because he didn’t want to, because, _God, did he want to_, but because this couldn’t happen. Even though David seemed to see _something_ when looking at him, Matteo was unsure of if that something was good, and more importantly, good enough.

That was always what it came back to, in the end. Matteo was more than aware of his flaws, and even though David had openly checked him out – Matteo wanted to deny that this had happened, but he couldn’t, not really – Matteo knew it would hurt too much when David eventually would turn him down, at best treating Matteo like a fun pastime.

So, when David carefully took a step closer to where they already stood questionably close, Matteo flinched back and hit the small of his back against the kitchen counter.

“Sorry” David mumbled, almost looking sad, and Matteo hated himself for being the cause of it.

“It’s, uh, it’s fine” Matteo mumbled back, refusing to look at David, while his hands started to nervously fidget at the hem of his own t-shirt.

At that, the sound of someone entering the kitchen broke the silence that’d found its way between them, and when Matteo looked up, Amira gave him a knowing look.

“Just wanted something to drink” she explained, making her way to the fridge next to David, who now smiled politely at her.

“Could you hand me a beer?” David asked, and Matteo wasn’t ready for the warmth that was imbedded in his voice.

Amira nodded, and gave him a bottle before grabbing a can of soda for herself.

“See you later then, boys” she said, but her eyes were only at Matteo; and going by her knowing smile, Matteo knew she saw right through his attempts to seem casual around David.

He could feel his own cheeks almost reddening at this. When he looked over at David again, his eyes were already on him, looking like he contemplated something. Matteo wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that something was.

.....

Despite Amira turning up in the kitchen, the heat that David had definitely felt between him and Matteo hadn’t really gone away. That’s why, when she turned back to the living room again, David didn’t know what to do except grasping his beer a little tighter than before, trying not to do anything that would make Matteo uncomfortable. He tried to think he’d be okay if Matteo would turn him down; but, at the same time, Matteo had made no move to leave his place a few feet across from him.

David really didn’t know what to do with that information. He knew Matteo liked guys, Hanna had informed him of that much when she invited him as a possible date for Matteo, and he wanted to think he liked David. He also knew Hanna hadn’t told Matteo about him. Yes, he was openly pan, but Hanna assured him she hadn’t mentioned anything, knowing Matteo wouldn’t show if he knew his friends tried to set him up at a party. Once again, David sort of questioned why he himself had actually agreed to this – sure, he was glad he’d come, but it felt a bit dishonest to Matteo. Matteo, who now glanced at him through his light eyelashes, not really making eye contact.

Not knowing what to say next, David just offered him his beer, waiting for Matteo to slowly grab the bottle from him, their fingers lightly brushing against each other.

“Thanks.”

David hadn’t even thought about the fact that Matteo’s lips were now where his own had just been, and he desperately tried to shove this thought away in order to keep himself somewhat calm.

“So…” he started, not really sure where he was going before he started talking again, “Hanna’s told me a bit about you.”

If David had known what effect his words would have on Matteo, he would’ve said them much sooner. A slight blush painted his cheek, spilling down his neck, and his eyes widened comically before he seemingly forced himself to look away.

“Oh, uh, okay.” Matteo’s voice was a mixture of uncertainty and shyness; a mixture David wanted to hear over and over.

David knew he should continue, say something more on the topic, but his urge to hear Matteo speak again was too strong for him to do so. Instead, he just waited until Matteo finally looked up at him.

“Did she... what did she say?”

The nervous stutter to his voice almost made David want to give him a reassuring kiss right then and there, let him know exactly how David felt. But he had to sort this out, first. He contemplated how to phrase this, before finally just going with:

“She said you’re cute.”

And boy, was that the right choice, if the reddening blush on Matteo’s face was anything to go by.

.....

He wasn’t sure what this meant, but David more or less calling him cute made his entire body shiver, and he desperately hoped David somehow wouldn’t notice his physical reaction.

“And, you know, that you suck at Mario Kart” he added, grinning wide. And, oh _God_ did Matteo want to hide that grin with his own lips.

“Fuck off, I’m great.”

Once again, Matteo hoped that his body didn’t betray him all too much, wanting to at least _seem _casual. He knew he missed the mark when David was silent for a while, staring intently at him.

“Yeah, you are.”

Matteo didn’t trust his own voice, so instead of saying anything, he just took another drink from the bottle he still hadn’t given back to David.

“That is what Hanna said, though. Not the Mario Kart thing, that was me” David grinned a little, doing his small head tilt that completely _wrecked_ Matteo, “but she said anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Did he-

Matteo slowly puzzled together just what Hanna had done here.

Sure, he knew both she and Jonas wanted him to get a boyfriend, constantly nagging him for being single, but he didn’t think they would actively push someone towards him. But, he assumed, Hanna had now gone and done just that.

“I’m… sorry” he began, because how could he possibly live up to any of the things Hanna had promised? She and Jonas were both great, they really were, but he often felt like they viewed him through a shimmering lens; a lens that was more flattering than it was truthful. If David had come here thinking Matteo was anything like Hanna described him as, he was set up for disappointment, and Matteo didn’t know how to shatter his expectations.

“What?” David’s voice broke the lingering silence.

“I’m not,” Matteo began again, gesturing vaguely at David “…like you.”.

David’s brows furrowed at this, as if he didn’t get what Matteo tried to say. And fuck, this was just another thing on the list of bad traits Matteo was made up of: constantly being incoherent, never being able to just speak his mind.

“Like me?” David’s voice almost sounded broken, and it was noticeably quieter than before.

“You know,” Matteo tried again, still gesturing at him, “like this. Confident.”

This time, the silence was broken by David laughing at him, making Matteo frown in return.

“Matteo,” David said, more certain this time, “I like you.”

Matteo could feel his breath hitch, while the swarming feeling in his stomach rapidly spread to the rest of his body. Still, he knew David had gotten the wrong idea, no matter how much he wished that that idea of him could be the right one.

“But I’m _me_,” Matteo emphasised. “Not whoever Hanna told you about.”

David shook his head at this, slowly, before meeting Matteo’s eyes and locking them together with his much darker ones. Matteo didn’t dare to look away.

“Matteo,” he said again, and the sound of his own name on David’s lips did nothing to calm his still jittering nerves.

“I like you, okay? Just… let me do that” he continued, stepping even closer still until Matteo could feel a lock of David’s unruly hair against his own forehead.

“Okay, yeah,” Matteo stuttered, his voice barely audible under his breath.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter! I want to say a big thank you for everyone that's taken the time to read this, give kudos and write heartwarming words in the comments. I had no expectations before posting this, but I'm so glad I actually published it. Thank you 💖

He could feel the warmth of Matteo’s breath against his own neck, and though they were still not technically touching, David was pretty sure this was it. Matteo knew he liked him, now, even though it was obvious he didn’t seem to fully believe him.

“I, uh-” Matteo stuttered, and David noticed Matteo did this a lot; he kept starting and restarting sentences, like he found something to say and then changed his mind. Still, David kept silent, not wanting to interrupt him.

“I like you, too, obviously.” The last word was nothing more than a whisper, and the entire insides of David’s body lit up at the sound, slowly catching fire at his words.

“Good to know” David mumbled, very aware that his voice was embarrassingly soft with no trace of the cockiness he wanted it to have.

Matteo must have noticed this, too, because his eyes dropped down to David’s lips and stayed there for a bit too long before hesitantly reaching David’s eyes again. David mirrored his movements; slowly moving his gaze to the redness of Matteo’s lips, watching the slight curve of his careful smile. He wasn’t sure he was able to look away.

Suddenly, he noticed Matteo’s face slowly inching closer, their noses brushing against each other, until he felt that slight curve pressed against his lips.

His mind went blank, except from a sound of waves crashing and breaking, then slowly rolling back, salt flowing through the movements. His entire body was occupied by this, as he pressed himself closer to the other boy, craving contact at more than just the lips. He wanted everything, suddenly; everything he always neglected himself, everything he’d been too scared to wish for up until now. Up until Matteo.

Before he could press his tongue carefully between Matteo’s slightly open mouth, Matteo moved away, breathing heavily.

“Fuck.”

His soft smile almost stumbled a bit, as if Matteo’s entire being had been thrown off balance, and David realised he felt the opposite. Matteo, he realised, made him feel like he finally stood on solid ground. Before he could begin to utter any of this to Matteo, though, Matteo leaned in so that their foreheads touched, and David sighed at the sensation.

“Do you want to-” Matteo said, his breathing a bit uneven, and the thought of _David_ being the reason made his own breathing falter a bit. “My place?”

When David looked at his face, Matteo still had a shyness to him, but the uncertainty from before was gone. His cheeks were, if possible, even a deeper shade of pink than before, and David thought about all the different shades he wanted to see painted on that face. Peach, grapefruit, cherry blossom – if it weren’t for Matteo clearly wanting an answer from him, David could’ve gone on forever.

“Yeah” he breathed out, not caring anymore about the way his voice gave away just how much he wanted this – if anything, the smile on Matteo’s lips at his answer revealed that they both felt the same.

And, oh, what a thought that was, but David didn’t have time to dwell on it any further. Not when Matteo gave him _a look_ before slowly moving his body away from him, lightly touching David’s hand with his own before turning to leave. David could do nothing but follow him.

.....

As they reached the hallway, Matteo ready to just put on his shoes and leave with David in tow – he figured he could explain whatever this was to Jonas another time – Jonas suddenly appeared next to them, grinning widely with a drink in his hand.

“Ooooo” he whistled at them, louder than necessary over the soft music in the background.

Matteo was too annoyed to be embarrassed, as he just kept fumbling with his shoes before grabbing his jacket from the floor.

“Nice to see you” David said, way nicer than Matteo thought Jonas deserved, before adding,

“We’re gonna go.”

Matteo could feel a stronger blush blossom at his face, and he refused to look anywhere in particular.

“You’re a good one!” Jonas almost shouted, making David chuckle slightly from where he was standing next to Matteo.

“Dude, take care of our baby here, he’s the only one we’ve got” Jonas continued, obviously drunk, and if it weren’t for Matteo still wanting to make a good impression on David, he would’ve decked his friend right then and there.

Instead he just gave him the finger, muttering “fuck off” under his breath, with David failing to supress his laughter.

As Matteo turned to leave, he could just make out Hanna appearing at the entrance to the living room, smiling contently at them. “Nice to see you both.”

“See you at work” David offered with a smile, before Matteo instinctively grabbed his wrist and forced him out of the apartment, the sound of Jonas’ and Hanna’s laughter sipping through the door behind them.

He let go of David almost immediately, not sure where to go from there, but David just grabbed at Matteo’s jacket a bit before heading down the stairs, and Matteo could all but race after him out to the street. He almost stumbled a few times, and when got through the door, he nearly slammed into David.

David was somehow even more attractive under the lights of the streetlamps. Matteo didn’t know what to do with that information but this: stare at the lines of every shadow forming over his face, inspecting how the light danced over his almost glowing skin, making Matteo’s own skin itch in a way he’d never felt before.

“Can I kiss you?” David said, interrupting his thoughts, and Matteo barely had time to nod before David surged forward, gently cupping his face, and kissed him.

And it was different, this time – like they made up for lost time Matteo didn’t even know had gone missing. There was something about David that made Matteo bold; made him bold enough to slowly move his tongue against David’s lower lip, waiting for his lips to slowly part. When they did, Matteo remembered the feeling of dreaming from earlier that night, and if there was ever a time when his reality felt unreal, this was it. This, right here, was the fever dream that somehow existed even in his most awaken state, with the heat rising not from sickness but from the intensity of whatever was happening between them.

Suddenly, he could feel David’s strong hands on his hips, testing the way the skin of his palms fit against Matteo’s soft, pale sides. And Matteo wanted his own hands to feel David in the same way, wanted to explore the skin underneath the patterned shirt.

As David deepened the kiss, somehow moving even closer, Matteo gently put his hands under the hem of David’s shirt, letting his fingers wander up, up, as he felt David’s breath hitch, but he didn’t move away. Matteo let his hands grace even higher up David’s torso, feeling bold and giddy and ecstatic all at once, until he brushed against two mirroring scars running over David’s chest. His mind stilled for a second, and it was all it took for David to stumble back and force their bodies apart, only touching at their foreheads.

“I’m trans.” David mumbled, and his quiet words echoed through the empty street.

“Okay” Matteo whispered, not being able to speak just yet, too affected by them kissing just a few seconds ago.

He already missed the feeling of David’s lips on his own. When David suddenly moved back a bit more, so that no parts of them were touching, Matteo almost whined in protest.

“Okay?” David repeated, his eyes searching Matteo’s face, his gaze heavy on him, and Matteo couldn’t stand the lack of contact.

“Yeah, you’re trans, it’s great” Matteo rambled, putting both his arms around David’s sides, settling his face so he could nose at the warm skin of David’s neck.

While David was still quiet, Matteo started to press soft, small kisses at the bottom of his jaw. David breathed sharply, still not saying anything, and Matteo decided he’d had enough.

“Kiss me, you ass” he whined, finally, and David smiled so widely against his lips it could barely count as kissing.

.....

He wasn’t sure how they’d made it there, just remembering feeling the need to press Matteo up against different buildings to quickly make out and laugh giddily. And now, suddenly, Matteo was leading him through the hallway of his flat share.

Once they reached Matteo’s room, David closed the door behind them, and without saying anything he placed his hands at the small of Matteo’s back. They stood there for a while in the dimly lit room, lazily kissing between nervous giggles, before somehow ending up on the bed, laying closely in each other’s arms, both still clothed but with hands wandering greedily at shirt hems.

David almost felt like the bed could drift away, moving through a rough sea, and he’d still feel calm at the touch of Matteo’s hand softly pushing through his hair.

“So…” Matteo mumbled against David’s chest, so quietly that David could’ve missed it, if it weren’t for the fact that Matteo’s voice still sent shivers through him.

“Mm?”

“What did Hanna say about me?”

David almost thought he was joking, but when he saw the shyness returning to Matteo’s face, he realised Matteo genuinely wanted to know.

“Uh, well,” David tried to remember just how the conversation had panned out, too focused on the way strands of Matteo’s hair had stuck to his forehead, suddenly feeling an urge to push them away. So, he did, and then turned all his focus to Matteo’s curious gaze.

“She said she had this cute friend,” he began, smiling widely at the thought of what a great understatement that had been in hindsight, “who’s a bit messy but has a certain something to him.”

His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of Matteo scrunching up his face, the pinkness of his skin already turning a different shade.

“And, of course, that I’d be an idiot not to like you.”

With his last words, he moved a bit closer and pressed a small kiss at the tip of Matteo’s nose, watching his face getting flustered at David’s confession.

“Liar” Matteo muttered, trying and failing to sound annoyed as he burrowed his face in David’s shirt.

“Nah-ah.” David let his hand wander closer to Matteo’s face, soothingly carding his fingers through the blond hair. “I’m not an idiot though” he added, whispering at the side of Matteo’s head.

“You sure?” Matteo scoffed, seemingly not as flustered anymore, and David moved a little so he could see the teasing smile on Matteo’s face.

“Yeah, because I do like you” David said, and he couldn’t help but cupping Matteo’s face, gently stroking his hands over Matteo’s blushing cheeks.

“You’re dumb” Matteo said, but before David could argue, Matteo leaned in and kissed him, and David lost all his thoughts to the warmth of Matteo’s lips on his.

God, he was forever going to be in debt to Hanna for this, for giving him the chance of having this. Of having _him_, this boy who cuddled closer to him like second nature, blinking sleepily as he let his fingers trace the skin of David’s face, his neck, before dropping it softly on his chest.

David wanted to articulate what his body quietly hummed from the inside of him, but he didn’t know any words that could convey the feeling of Matteo’s skin touching his, the way they moulded together.

As he glanced over at Matteo’s face, the boy’s eyes were slowly closing as if wanting to drift into a dream. David thought of the image of the bed drifting away with the both of them tucked in tightly, holding each other under the covers, knowing the waves would nothing but lull them to sleep. And so, he moved even closer to Matteo, gently kissing his forehead before slowly letting himself fall asleep in the other boy’s arms.


End file.
